Sometimes you feel as if the whole world is moving fast and you’re the only one moving in slow motion. Like there’s so many people around you, close to you, and yet you feel lonely. But why is this? Are you the one holding back?
There are so many things we want in our lives that we usually forget about what we already have. We forget to feel grateful. We don’t see what’s right in front of us.
Sometimes I stop for a second and think about all of the things I should’ve done differently. I think about going back in time. I should’ve said this, I should’ve said that. What if I could change just a little detail? Just one. It’s amazing how one decision, as irrelevant as it may be, can completely change the course of your life. I believe in the many-worlds theory: maybe in some other universe there’s a better version of me who made the right choice and his life took a different path.
I get stuck with the “what if’s” and never do anything. But then I write. There are some things that people don’t understand, so I turn on my computer and start typing. I’m trying to do that as my fingers are almost freezing because of the coldness. I can barely move them. But it doesn’t really matter, I keep typing. Writing is my therapy.
Sometimes you wonder why some things happen to you. Some people say they’re meant to happen, others say you are the one who attract all of the events in your life. I certainly didn’t want some things to happen. So is your life already written on a paper somewhere? Or are you creating your fate as you live your life?
Sometimes it’s hard for me to accept the facts. I live in a world of illusions I can’t get out of. “Hey, maybe it’ll happen”, I say. But deep inside I know it isn’t possible. No matter how hard you try to escape reality, it’ll always end up hitting you like a bulldozer.
Some people just have a hard time moving on. Funny thing is, when you finally move on you look back and notice how stupid you were. But hey, that’s life. I’ve been there many times, and will continue to be there. It’s an endless loop. An infinite cycle.
I will probably read this tomorrow and laugh out loud at this nonsense, but maybe that’s the beauty of it.